“I don’t have time.”
“I don’t understand or remember what I’m supposed to do.”
“I want to relax first.”
“I have too much other stuff to do.”
Those comments—relating to time management, confusion, the need for a break, and excessive demands—are a sampling of responses parents might receive when asking their kids about homework, chores, or other responsibilities. Are those legitimate reasons for delay? Excuses? Or indicators of challenges with coping, confidence, or something else?
Juggling tasks can be difficult. If a child needs help with that, they might ask for assistance. Or not! Some kids are not sure how to request guidance, or they’re too upset or embarrassed to do so. Some get “stuck” and are unable or reluctant to begin. They may wonder about expectations or materials. How much time will tasks take? Are they fair? Is there any flexibility? Are deadlines negotiable? What will be the consequences of avoidance or delay? Most importantly, are the tasks worth doing? (That is, are they meaningful to them?)
Parents become concerned when they perceive their kids missing out on opportunities to learn. However, it’s pointless for adults to get frustrated, or to argue. There are constructive ways to support children, and to help them develop solid work habits and productive pathways.
WHAT DO PARENTS NEED TO KNOW?
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
~ Martin Luther King
Children who struggle with juggling tasks—whether related to time management, confusion, insufficient breaks, or excessive demands—will benefit from pacing, clarification, intervals of relaxation, and a reasonable number of tasks (as opposed to overload). They may also need help with organizing, prioritizing, and finding or using resources.
Parents can assist by demonstrating these skills. They can encourage first steps, and be available to offer reassurance and positive feedback.
OTHER WAYS PARENTS CAN HELP
“It’s a job that’s never started that takes the longest to finish.”
~ J. R. R. Tolkien
- Show kids how to assert themselves respectfully. Teach them how to self-advocate if they’re being asked to do too much, are overwhelmed, or feel they aren’t ready to tackle something.
- Help children develop inquiry skills. Communication channels open when kids learn to ask thoughtful questions. It empowers them to build understandings (of expectations, resilience, creative outlets, and more).
- Chat about relevance. Kids who appreciate the value of a task or activity are more likely to engage in it, and to follow it through conscientiously.
- Encourage kids to reach out as necessary. Teachers, family members, friends, and other trusted adults are allies and supporters.
- Set an example. Reinforce a step-by-step approach. Even small advances are signs of progress!
Slow down. Make allowances. It’s a hurried world. Life sometimes interferes with kids’ ability to move ahead. Be sensitive to that. - Spark momentum. Are tasks interesting? Enticing? Is there room for creative expression? Are goals attainable? Give all this some thought.
LAST WORDS
“The moment where you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever being able to do it.”
~ J. M. Barrie, in Peter Pan
Show kids you have faith in their abilities. Don’t underestimate them or shelter them from responsibilities. Rather, encourage them to have faith in themselves, and to put forth effort. Help them appreciate the importance of investing in their own learning. As a result, they’ll feel a sense of accomplishment, they’ll be better able to fuel their ambitions, and they’ll enrich their lives. Demonstrate how you do just that—and why it matters.
