When children are happy, they play with abandon. They’re inclined to laugh, dance, sing, joke, and interact with carefree and unrestricted joy.
However, when children are upset, it’s a different scenario. Whether they’re feeling disappointed, frustrated, worried, embarrassed, or something else, being unhappy can gnaw away at their self-confidence and sense of well-being.
There are times when the best course of action is for parents to acquire professional guidance to help a child who is experiencing difficulties and needs assistance. That said, there are some basic support strategies families can draw upon when kids are feeling upset or vulnerable. Encourage children to talk with you (or with someone else they trust), and chat about the tips that follow here.
Suggestions
- Name the feeling. Ask: What is the emotion you’re feeling? Are you sad? Angry? Confused? Naming an emotion helps a child get a handle on it—although some feelings can be hard for them to identify. For example, feeling overwhelmed may not be easy for a child to name. They may think of it as being tired or busy. Be patient and help kids find the words to describe what they’re going through or struggling with. This can provide a starting point for dealing with it. Adults have more fulsome vocabularies and descriptors at their disposal (distraught, overburdened, inundated, engulfed, etc.), so sometimes it can take a while to get the full gist of a child’s concern.
- Pause and Ponder: What do you think caused you to feel this way? Chat together about when the feeling started and why. Adults can also ask the child how the feeling is causing them to act. Do those actions help? For example, is hugging a soft toy comforting? Is pounding a pillow helpful? Does crying make you feel better? It’s okay! Sharing books and stories about children who are experiencing the same kind of emotion that’s been identified can help kids realize they’re not alone in having the triggers or feelings. They can also find out how others have coped with them.
